The Lightning Theif Read by gods and demi-gods
by Savanahpuppy1234
Summary: What would happen if the gods sat down with demi-gods and read the lightning theif with no knowledge of what happend. It is filled with laughs and excitement I hope your ready to go
1. Epilogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Percy's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was going about my regular business and practicing with people that wanted to learn how to sword fight like I do. I really don't think I'm all that good but they insisted anyway, so what the heck right. Well, I was teaching this kid. Matthew Sparks I think, Son of Ares… Who would've though. A son of Ares asking **me **for advice, the only thing better than that was Clarisse's face when he asked. As I was saying, when he lunged at me everything went black, I thought I died but then I opened my eyes up here and realized that I was on Olympus. So which one of you summoned us here?" I ask the gods, as I saw more of my friends appear. After me it was Annabeth, then Grover, then Clarisse, then The Stoll brothers, then Piper, Leo, and Jason, then Chiron, and then Hazel, and Frank. That was it right, but then out of the blue this guy fell in instead of being shot up from the earth. When he was on the ground he gasped and to our surprise it was… _**Luke! **_

"Luke?" exclaimed Hermes, running up to his son while the rest of us stood there shocked.

"Ok… Last time I checked I was in Elysium chilling with Beckendorf, but hey… the real world can be nice to. Elysium was really lonely anyway." said Luke, standing up to see us.

"Ok, family reunion… that's nice and everything but why are you here?" asked Athena, I swear with that woman you can hear the cold in her voice… then again maybe she wants us too. All of the sudden a note appeared in Hades lap, ever since the whole Lightning Thief business Hades has been allowed to come in and out of Olympus.

"What does it say?" asked Apollo eagerly, he was probably hoping to get out of this really quickly. Probably had some date to go on. Aphrodite would be so proud, Hades cleared his throat.

"Dear, Gods and Demigods

I hope you like my gift (Luke) I thought you might want to see him again. Either way I am going to send you back into the past. You gods will not remember the future but the demi-gods will. You are to read The Lightning Thief… In fact Percy's little secret is that he LOVES to write books. He just finished writing the House of Hades and he also wrote some of the 39 clues and The Kane Chronicles. You must read it before you can return to the future and the gods will understand what happened when you get back.

Sincerely yours,

Anonymous. (p.s Hold your breath… This is going to smell.)

"Wait what?" said Artemis. All of the sudden dust rains down on all of us and Thalia appears. When the dust cleared the gods blinked and Zeus got his lightning bolt out and pointed it at us.

"Hey!" yelled Annabeth, making Zeus put his weapon "Look" she said, pointing at the sea green book with the blazing gold title. The Lightning Thief Poseidon read the note and sighed, if we must we will. I guess the gods read his thoughts and whined at the thought of reading.

"At least introduce yourselves," said Athena, this time instead of cold in her voice there was curiosity. Nico floated in just in time.

"Introduce yourself, we are in the past…" I whispered to Nico, he nodded.

"I am Nico, son of Hades," said Nico stepping forward and earning gasps from the gods, the all stared at Zeus angrily. I chuckled and stepped forward.

"I am Perseus Jackson, but I go by Percy. I am the son of Poseidon" I say, smirking at the faces of the gods. I heard a giggle come from Thalia as she stepped forward.

"I am Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus and a Hunter of Artemis." Says Zeus, the gods by them were just dumbfounded. We all motioned to Hazel, wanting to see their reaction to a _roman_ daughter of Hades. Hazel stepped forward.

"I am Hazel Levesque, daughter of Pluto." giggled Hazel.

"A Roman?" exclaimed Athena. "Standing in harmony with Greeks!" she said in astonishment. "Whatever type of future you come from, I deeply admire you"

"Grover Underwood, Satyr." Said Grover, kicking off his shoes.

"Clarisse la Rue, daughter of Ares." She states, proudly stepping forward.

"Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena," says Annabeth

" Connor and Travis Stoll sons of Hermes," I say pointing to the brothers who weren't really paying attention.

"Piper McLean daughter of Aphrodite" states Piper.

"Leo Valdez son of Hephaestus, oh and I'm a fire user," says Leo, proudly striding forward.

"Jason Grace son of Jupiter," says Jason, letting electricity swirl in his hand. I challenged him by swirling water in my hand. It's an inside thing.

"Another Roman?" complained Dionysus.

"He's not the last one," says Frank, stepping forward. "Frank Zhang, son of Mars," he laughs, looking at the gods faces which were may I just say priceless.

"Luke Castellan son of Hermes, oh and I should be dead right now. Before you blame Hades it wasn't him," states Luke, sighing.

"You know what, forget it… let's just get reading…" complained Hera.


	2. Chapter 1

*~*~*~*~*~*~Percy's P.O.V*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Can I read?" begged Athena, grabbing the book from Poseidon's hands.

**I Vaporize my pre-Algebra teacher**

"Really, Percy… Really?" asked Annabeth, and I could tell she was holding back a laugh

**Look, I didn't want to be a half blood.**

"Who does?" said Nico.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is**

"Here it comes," laughed Hazel

"Oh behold the great advice of Percy" said Nico

"It's-"

"Oh when was the last time we got good advice from Percy?" asked Leo

"It's really-"

"Someone get a recorder I want to hear this!" said Piper.

"IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD!" I yelled, tired of being interrupted.

"Doubt that!" teased the Stolls

**Close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth and try to lead a normal life.**

"That wasn't that bad…" beamed Annabeth, most likely proud of me.

"Told you!" I said, sticking my tongue out at the Stolls.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous.**

"No doubt!" said Luke

"We've gone through so much since you died Luke, you just can't talk… we are going through something you wouldn't even be able to imagine… It is SO much worse than what you did. So in other words WE FORGIVE YOU!" I said, and we all tackle him with hugs.

**It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.**

"You better believe it." Said Luke from under the hug pile, we finally gave way for him to stand up.

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

"Nice way to blow our cover, seaweed brain!" said Annabeth and Thalia.

"Hey… it's a book. No one is going to think its real!" I said trying to defend myself even though I know I've already lost.

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages, if you feel something stirring inside, stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

"Jeez, Percy… are you trying to scare the younger audience?" asked Jason.

"Well, they should be scared shouldn't they?" I snap.

"Point taken." sighs Jason, knowing that I defeat him.

**Don't say I didn't warn you**

"You didn't warn us!" my friends said in union, I did the most childish thing I could've done… I stuck my tongue out.

**My name is Percy Jackson**

"No, I thought your name was Perry Johnson…" said Thalia; earning no laughs from my friend because that is what Director D calls me and ONLY Director D can get away with calling me that. I hit her with a trickle of water and she shocked me… only fair.

"The readers don't know that!" I complained.

**I am twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

"Pretty much sums up us demi-gods, Perce" said Leo

"Thanks, Repair Boy." I said, earning a smile from Annabeth.

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Yes!" said my friends.

"Why am I friends with you guys again?" I ask

"Oh, come on seaweed brain! You know you love us." Said Annabeth, who moved a bit closer to me.

"Yeah, I guess I do wise girl." I say, linking hands with her.

"Oooooh I sense a love connection!" squeals Aphrodite.

"WHAT!" fumes Athena, while Poseidon on the other hand just smiled.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

"HE ADMITTED IT!" yelled my friends; I stuck out my tongue… again.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it,**

"Where can I get this proof?" questioned Annabeth.

**But things really started going bad last May, when our sixth grade class took a field trip to Manhattan, twenty-eight mental case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at Ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"ROMAN!" Zeus roared, glaring at Chiron.

"I kept them out of that section until they insisted we look at the statue of Artemis in her Roman form." Chiron defended, as Artemis flickered in between her roman and Greek form until she stabilized into her Greek form.

**I know it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

"Greek Mythology… I mean History is not boring!" said Hephaestus

"I didn't think it was that important back then." I whined.

**But , our Latin teacher, was leading this trip so I had hope.**

"I was a pretty good teacher wasn't I?" beamed Chiron.

** was this middle aged guy in a motorized wheel chair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told us stories and jokes and let us play games in class.**

"You really thought that high of me Percy?" asked Chiron, who seemed to be touched because I have never seen that centaur tear up but to my surprise he did.

"Yep!" I replied

**He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons,**

"Those weapons and that armor was Greek!" chuckled Chiron.

**So he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"YOU FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS!" exclaimed Athena, most likely appalled at the thought.

"Mother… that is what teenage boys do, including some of yours." Sighed Annabeth.

"WHAT! Well, I shall be having a chat with some of my male children!" said Athena.

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least , I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

"Boy, were you wrong!" said Grover, laughing at the day.

**Boy was I wrong**

"Empathy link buddies!" sang me and Grover, running up and playfully hugging each other.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for this school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

Beside me Connor and Travis were cracking up "Wait, you hit a school bus with a war cannon! That is priceless!" they laughed, practically rolling around on the ground.

**And before that,**

"Wait there's more, YAY" yelled Connor

**At my fourth grade school, when we took a behind the scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

The Stolls would not stop laughing, My dad may not really know me right now but he knew I was his son and he had enough so he poured this giant water bucket on their heads and when the gods looked at them he had this amazing innocent look on his face… I could learn a few things from him.

**And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.**

"Man, I thought he was gonna continue." Complained Travis.

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redhead kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut-butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"EEEW!" screamed Aphrodite and Piper.

"Piper, as much as you like to deny it you are SO much like your mom," teases Jason, who as I predicted got a well-earned slap on the face.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of that he was crippled.**

"Thanks for the _amazing_ description Perce." Complained Grover.

"You're welcome!" I answered, smiling at Grover

**He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Way to keep it smooth Grover." Said Thalia, silently laughing and I swear Grover was the color of a tomato.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"Well she was pleasant, wasn't she?" mumbled Athena.

"**I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

"Finally, some Violence!" cheered Ares and Clarisse.

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"Who doesn't" said Leo, starting to move around because we just couldn't take it anymore we needed to be active. We looked at the gods for permission and they summoned us hell-hounds to fight. When that was done we all continued.

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

"**That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"Dang it Grover, that was just starting to get good." complained Clarisse, getting an approving look from her dad.

"**You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

"PERCY!" we all yelled.

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.**

"Good for you, Percy" said Ares, which was very shocking considering that he was the god that hated me the most, at least other than Athena after she reads this book.

**In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

"Did someone say mess?!" yelled the Stolls in union.

** led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheel chair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

"Really old? More like ancient!" mumbled Hades.

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Longer!" chimed Artemis.

"Took you long enough to get your mind blown… those pieces are amazing architectural masterpieces." mumbled Annabeth.

"I get the point wise girl!" I groan playfully, like I was annoyed at what she was saying.

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say,**

"Don't lie Percy, we know you weren't paying attention, us ADHD kids never can!" remarked Leo

**Because it was kind of interesting,**

"Kind of?" huffed Chiron.

"It's fascinating!" exclaimed Annabeth

**But everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to show up, the other teacher chaperone, , would give me the evil eye.**

"Monster!" screeched Aphrodite, everyone else nodded in aggrement.

** was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old.**

"A Fury?" exclaimed Hades. "Why was one of my Furies attacking _you_!" he roared.

**She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had to come to Yancy halfway through the year, when out last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

"Sound familiar to you dad?" grumbled Nico, when realization spread across Hades face.

"You're my Nico Di Angelo? As much as I am loving seeing you right now, aren't you supposed to be in the lotus hotel right now?" Hades questioned.

"My younger self probably is but currently, in the future I am not in the lotus hotel anymore." Nico answered.

**From her first day, loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was the devil spawn. She would say "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get detention for a month.**

"How is this even relevant to what is going to happen in the story!" roared Apollo, probably wondering why this part is wasting his precious time.

"It's relevant believe me!" I grumbled, hoping he would hear.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think was human. He looked at me all serious like and said, "You're absolutely right."**

The gods faces were priceless, Zeus looked like he wanted to blast Grover right there and then. "Nice way to keep a cover, Grover" laughed Thalia, while the rest of us were on the ground laughing out heads off.

** kept talking about Greek funeral art. **

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?" **

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

"It always does doesn't it," mumbled Clarisse.

**The whole group laughed. stopped his story.**

"**Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" My face was totally red. I said "No, sir."**

"Why'd you have to go and embarrass me like that Chiron, huh?" I asked, the centaur.

"Well, it's only what a normal teacher would do, and I- I had a cover to maintain!" answered the centaur, turning just about as red as I was.

** pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids right?"**

"Yep," said Athena and Annabeth, nodding their heads in approval.

"What a miserable time that was," said Zeus, earning a nod of agreement from his brothers.

"**Yes," said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because…"**

"**Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"**

"GOD?!" roared Poseidon, giving me a glare.

"I fix it…" I mumble.

"**God?" asked.**

"**Titan," I corrected myself. "And… he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods.**

"He didn't trust us at all… it still hurts," whispered Hades, I'm surprised it came from Hades too.

**So, um he ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead.**

"Either father thought you looked like a rock," joked Poseidon

"Or he never really cared to look at you" laughed Hades.

**And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"**

"**Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"You got that right." Mumbled Aphrodite, disgusted at the thought.

"**-and so there was a big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

"Did you just sum up the biggest battle in history perfectly in under five minutes?" asked Apollo, cracking up.

"Yes, as a matter a fact I did, but it's not the biggest battle anymore!" I state.

"What's the biggest battle?" questioned Zues.

"Spoilers!" I yelled playfully, hiding behind Thalia.

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to be on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids."**

"You never know Mortal!" roared Dionysus, who had been surprisingly quiet during this whole thing.

"**And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"So, Nancy said it but Percy has to answer? SOOOO unfair" yelled Annabeth, I put my hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"Busted…" muttered Dionysus.

"**Busted," Grover muttered.**

"YOU AND DIRECTOR D THINK THE SAME!" we shouted, turning Dionysus and Grover beat red.

"**Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red then her hair.**

**At least Nancy got packed, too. was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it Chiron," I say, smirking at my old Latin teacher.

**I thought about his question and shrugged. "I don't know sir."**

"**I see." looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made his disgorge his other five children, who of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach.**

"EEEEEW!" squeaked Aphrodite

"It was a very unpleasant time!" agreed Poseidon.

"Did someone say wine?" Director D asked curiously.

**The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. , would you lead us back outside?"**

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

**Grover and I were about to follow when said, "Mr. Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned towards . "Sir?"**

"Percy's in trouble, Percy's in trouble!" sang Connor and Travis.

** had this look that wouldn't let you go… intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and have seen everything.**

"They are, and they have," stated Chiron.

"**You must learn the answer to my question," told me.**

"**About the Titans?"**

"**About real life. And how you studies apply to it."**

"**Oh."**

"Well, it's not like I could answer it then, I didn't know I was a half-blood! I thought I was a normal human with Dyslexia and ADHD!" I complained.

"**What you learn from me," he said "is vitally important, I expect you to treat it as such. I will except only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

"Gah… you didn't have to be so hard on Percy!" complained Annabeth, trying to help me.

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**

**I mean sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor**

"Greek armor," Chiron corrected.

"You were a Latin teacher! Latin is ROMAN not GREEK, everyone in that class thought it was roman armor!" I said, defending myself.

**And shouted: "What ho!" and challenged us sword point against chalk.**

"Wait, you mean to tell me you used sword point against mortals!" Zeus shouted at Chiron.

"You know it wouldn't hurt them, they were mortals!" complained Chiron.

**To run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I have never made it above a C- in my life.**

"A C-!" exclaimed Annabeth and Athena, appalled by the thought of getting below a C-

**No… he didn't expect me to be as good, he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**

"I'm sorry Percy, I didn't know you felt that way!" exclaimed Chiron.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while took one long sad look at the stele like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"I was, she was one of the best demi-gods I ever trained!" beamed Chiron, looking at the stele which had appeared to have been teleported up here but as soon as Chiron got a good look it disappeared.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured it must be global warming or something because the weather all across New York State had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes.**

"Why were you two so mad?" Asked the gods, staring at Poseidon and Zeus.

"We don't know! This was in the future remember!" they answered back

**I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pick pocket something from a lady's purse but of course wasn't seeing a thing.**

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school, the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"That is not what people thought of you guys!" complained Chiron

"Oh yeah, then why would people from other school call up loser freaks that couldn't make it anywhere else when they walked by?" I asked, smirking because I knew he couldn't answer.

"**Detention?" Grover asked.**

"**Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean I'm not a genius."**

"Tell me about it," mumbled Annabeth, rolling her eyes.

"I heard that!" I whined.

"You were meant to," she mocked, so I stuck my tongue out.

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said "Can I have your apple?"**

"An Apple Grover… Really?" questioned Frank.

"What I like Apples!" complained Grover.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Awww, dude. I had no idea your life was that tough before you became a demi-god." Sympathized Leo.

"Dude, your life was way harder than mine!" I point out, he nodded sadly and went back to listening.

** parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.**

"I should _soooo_ add that to the Argo II!" yelled Leo, drawing out the plans and listening for Athena to continue reading.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends- I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from tourists- and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

"**Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

"EWWWWWW" screamed all the girls in the room, while the boys just rolled their eyes

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

** materialized next to us.**

"Monster," said Poseidon sadly, and then all the gods glared at Hades.

"Hey, we don't know why I sent her up there, only they do!" complained Hades, pointing at us.

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-" **

"**-the water-"**

"**-like it grabbed her-"**

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

**As soon as was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-"**

"**I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing work books."**

"Never guess your punishment!" warned Conner, Travis, and Hermes.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"Told you!" They sang triumphantly.

"**Come with me," said.**

"**Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. scared Grover to death.**

"Wow, Grover that was really brave!" beamed Dionysus. "It's about time one of you satyr's showed a little bit of courage."

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"**I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

"**But-"**

"**You-will-stay-here"**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

"Don't worry about it Grover, you tried you best and we admire you for that." I tell my best friend.

**It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

"**Honey," barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

"Why I outa-"mumbled Annabeth.

"Annabeth, that was years ago, calm down." I sooth, hoping to calm her down**.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later star. Then I turned to face , but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank piece behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of my ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after .**

"Is there about to be some action in this because me and my daughter are getting very bored," complained Ares.

"Yes there is," I answer.

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and , like he wanted to notice what was going on, but was absorbed in his novel**

"CHIRON!" Poseidon roared. "How could you be so wrapped up in a novel that you don't pay attention to the demi-god you were supposed to be looking after?!"He shouted.

"I didn't know!" Chiron replied calmly.

**I looked back up. had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us the gallery was empty.**

** stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would have been nervous, it's weird being alone with a teacher, especially . Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it.**

"Most monsters do," said Hades. "Especially, MY monsters, because I do not have a proper throne on Olympus, I am not treated with as much respect as the other gods, just because I am god of the Underworld! I DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE THE GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD, BUT ALL YOU EVER DO IS CRITISIZE ME FOR IT!" Hades roared.

"**You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

"Oh and Hades… what's up with the whole 'honey' thing?" I asked.

"I don't know, they used to be kind but they changed there minds… right now they are being a bit kind but I don't know." He answered simply.

"Cool." I reply.

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am.**

"Oh My Gods! Percy did something SAFE!" yelled Hazel, laughing at me.

"Whatever." I remarked.

**She tugged on the cuffs on her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

**I said, "I'll-I'll try harder ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

"Zeus… Why did you have to blame Percy, just because he was the son of you brother…" Annabeth sighed, shaking her head.

"What, it's not like we're the best of friends." He answered.

"**We are not fools, Percy Jackson," said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers found my illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.**

"Good for you Percy!" said Travis, coming over and giving me a high five.

**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"Good job, Perce! I HAVE to use that in the future, it's pure genius." Said Connor, coming over and patting me on the back.

"**Well?" she demanded**

"**Ma'am, I don't…"**

"**Your time is up," she hissed**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

**Then things got even stranger.**

** , who'd been out in the front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair holding a pen in his hand.**

I put up my hand and Athena stopped. I pulled out the pen.

"Oooooh what'cha gonna do Jackson? Write on me?" teased Ares, I clicked the pen and riptide busted out.

Ares nodded his head in approval and said, "Nice toy,"

"Thanks" I replied.

"**What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

** lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ball point pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword- Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

** spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

"We're all like that on our first time," laughed Luke.

**She snarled "Die, honey!"**

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword. The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she was made of water. Hisss!**

** was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

"We've all been there Perce, you're not alone!" encouraged Jason.

"Go Jackson, killing a fury on your first go! Half of my kids can't manage that!" said Ares, clapping a bit and causing Clarisse to roll her eyes.

**I was alone.**

**There was a ball point pen in my hand.**

** wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

"Magic Mushrooms, Percy? Really…" said Nico, laughing a bit.

"I was confused alright!" I complain.

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

**I said, "Who?"**

"**Our Teacher. Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away.**

**I asked Grover where was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"Grover, what time do you have available for lying lessons?" asked Piper innocently, while the rest of us were cracking up. Grover turned beat red and turned away from her.

"**Not funny, man" I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. I went over to him. He looked up a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen.**

"No, that would be my pen," joked Poseidon, even though he knew he gave it to Chiron to give to Percy.

**Please bring your own writing utensil in the future Mr. Jackson."**

**I handed his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

"**Sir," I said, "where's ?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

"See Underwood, you could learn a few things from Chiron," teased Clarisse.

"**The other chaperone. , The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"**

"That was the end of the first chapter! We should probably, go to bed now, it's been a long day. Hermes, will you show them to their rooms?" asked Athena.

"Sure," agreed Hermes, and he led us to our rooms.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*AUTHORS NOTE*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey my little puppies~ This was a very VERY long chapter, and they will be for a while because, I have to write the dialogue for the characters and I have to write the text they are reacting too, so I'm sorry about that.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson, Rick Riordean does!_

_Words: 5758_


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